I grew up watching way too much TV. Tom & Jerry, the Looney Tunes, Gilligan’s Island, The Brady Bunch. But I loved The Andy Griffith Show. Even as a kid I dreamt of what life would be like in a small town like Mayberry. I longed for a simpler time, a safe and familiar place, where kids could run around after dark and people were there for each other. This show was much more than the other mindless entertainment I watched as a kid…it meant something to me. I’ve loved it for all these years and only now do I really understand why.
My life was at the same time similar yet vastly different from life in Mayberry. Like Opie, I had just one parent. His mother had died and he had only a father. My father died and I had only a mother. Aunt Bee lived with them. Uncle Steve lived with us. The contrast: Andy was a good father. My mom was a not-so-good mother. Aunt Bee was industrious and helpful. Uncle Steve was selfish and critical. They lived in one place. We moved….a lot. A clean, orderly, tidy home vs. a messy, crowded, chaotic one. Homemade fried chicken vs. Kentucky Fried Chicken.
To me, Mayberry represented an idyllic life. Sitting on a tattered couch, with the pet ferret nipping at my ankles and cats climbing up the curtains, I was witness to a way of life far from my own and longed for the stability, order, family, and community that these people had. Even though this was a show about a sheriff, the bad guys weren’t even that threatening and Mayberry was a very peaceful place. Violent crime? Never. Victims? Rarely. An apple pie swiped from a windowsill was big enough to make headlines. Andy didn’t even carry a gun.
But, above all, what strikes me is what a great dad Andy was to Opie. He was a provider, protector, role model and pal. Each episode opens to the familiar whistling tune, Andy and Opie, barefoot, fishing poles in hand, just two buddies spending a slow, sunny, summer afternoon fishing at the lake. The true meaning of quality time. And if you think about it, Andy was a father to the whole town, not just Opie. Barney, Goober, Gomer, Floyd, Otis…they were all really just big kids. And Andy had a way of dealing with them in ways that managed their mischief while maintaining their dignity. The psychology was amazing, really. I mean, Otis put himself in time out. He had these people trained.
Andy was strong yet gentle, wise yet fallible, stern but humorous. I believe there is some good parenting stuff here. I recall episodes where he handled a situation so beautifully I wanted to stop and take notes. How does this guy know so much? And in my frustration at dealing with a very strong-willed toddler, I have actually caught myself wondering, what would Andy do? Really. Having grown up with almost no parental guidance, I’ll take whatever wisdom I can get. It seems that the most lovable, wise, caring and gentle soul out there was Andy Taylor. I loved him like the father I lost. I still love him.
So, as a mother, when faced with a parental challenge, I try to recall the manner of Andy. I wonder if there is a way to learn by his example, to distill his parenting style and somehow apply it to parenting in today’s complicated world. The issues that parents face today are far more challenging and scary than any Andy could have ever imagined. I don’t know what Andy would do about teen pregnancy, meth or school shootings. But I think the big lessons are timeless, like being honest, doing what’s right, helping others, taking responsibility for your actions, having courage, a good work ethic, and always doing your best.
I’ve worked hard to give my kids the stable, orderly, loving home that I craved when I was a kid. But I still long for the simple times. For community and family, for my dad, who was great, by the way. And I’ll continue to watch The Andy Griffith Show, hoping that the lessons of this great father can help me to be a great mother.
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